I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hippo gnu deer
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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