the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
