I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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