and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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