As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
