I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
