i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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