I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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