If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
