There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
