My brain says no but my pants say off.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
