Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
