You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
