Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
