yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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