No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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