another moral hangover. fuck.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize