i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
