Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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