Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
