I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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