You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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