i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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