At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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