I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
