the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
