peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
