why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
