I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
