Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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