These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
