I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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