There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
