I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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