i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
