WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
