She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize