I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize