hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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