Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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