from now on my penis is your penis
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
