Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
