Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
