We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
