its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize