is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
