I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
