careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
