Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
