and you said cock pushups were impossible
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
