Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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