So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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