The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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