So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
