You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
