I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
