Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
FUCK WHALES
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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