It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
