Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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