Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
from now on my penis is your penis
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
