dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
