Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dicks are not precious.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So. Much. Porn.
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