She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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