We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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